Your Life Sparkles

Today I was interviewed by Marsha Bergher Wietecha on her Blog Talk Radio Show. It's called Born to Talk. She asked me about my 2020, about being the CEO of Your Life Sparkles, being an artist, author and all the different hats that I wear. We also talked about the inspiration for Your Life Sparkles- so much of it is from my mom, Marie. She passed away in October, 2018 but her legacy is alive in the positive, loving things I do today. We talked about my sisters and their impact and support in creating Your Life Sparkles. We talked about Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino and the incredible impact she has made in my life with becoming an author, growing professionally and becoming a best friend across the continent. 

And we also talked about my new arrival on the scene as a widow. There is so much grief and hurt wrapped in my heart this year. It's an odd mix for someone who wants to inspire and be positive. I'm still in here, it just looks and feels different without my loving husband, Ben. It hurts how much I miss him. 

I'm doing the work of allowing myself grace, allowing myself time. But it's hard. I feel torn. I want to go forward, be productive, find normal. I want to rest, breathe and take it slow. These feelings contradict themselves daily. Within my heart, the battle continues... and as I take small steps, one moment at a time, I know I can do it. The community around me- close and far- lift me up. 

I'm different now and I need to get to know myself again. This new, next version of me. I don't know how it will go. For the first time in a long time, I don't have a vision board or 5 year plan for myself. I just don't know. And with that, I am working to be okay with that too. My goal is to do what I can and to not beat myself up (oh the mental game!) when I am not thriving. 

It was heartwarming to have Marsha celebrate who I am and what I do. To have her feel proud of me, to listen to her rave about my work and my platforms. To cheer for all that I have accomplished in this upside-down, twisted year. Today was another moment for me. A sliver where I felt joy for me. Joy for what I am doing, what I could do, what I can still hope for.